The Angry Frenchman

In order to make myself feel better about hating everyone and everything, I decided to go on a hunt for other angry members of society. To my satisfaction I found the perfect person to interview; a Mr. Louis Boucher. “Basically he’s like a French Albert Einstein in a Lance Armstrong body”. According to Katherine Chloé Cahoon, author of “The Single Girl’s Guide to Dating European Men” French men are so attractive because they are not afraid to say I love you in public. However after giving this interview a read she might want to change that to they aren’t afraid to get pissed off in public.

Question 1: What pisses you off?

Louis: I can’t stand when these tourist walk slowly down the street and block my way. Why do they think I have time to leisurely stroll around behind them? The WORST though is when they are rolling their luggage along with them. Then they decided to walk in a line of like four people and block the entire side walk so I can’t get around them. They need to go get a cab and get off the side walk because I’m not afraid to push one of these old geezers over, best get out of my way. I’m a busy person, I have things to do and places to be. Honestly they make me as angry Chris Brown.

Question 2: Why is your time so valuable?

Louis: I have a lot to do in one day. Like get to happy hour at Foundation at 4pm when it starts. These lazy slow tourist really hinder my abilities to be the best I can be.

Question 3: But Louis don’t you ever want to slow down and enjoy this beautiful city?

Louis: I do that at night or the early morning, before the sun is up, when all tourist are in bed. That’s the best time to see London.

(I personally suggest all you tourist out there DO NOT take this as an invitation to start wandering around at night.)

Question 4: If you could tell these people one thing what would it be?

Louis: Live Hard, Live Fast

Question 5: What exactly does that have to do with anything?

Louis: Well, maybe if they lived a little faster they get the hell out my way a little faster.

(Touche Mr. Boucher touche)

Question 6: If could give these annoying slow moving tourist one gift, what would it be?

Louis: I would give each of them all the a pair of roller blades. Not only would it make them move quicker but it would also make them look funny. This way at least if I have to be around them I can laugh at them.

So all in all I think it’s safe to say I’m not alone in my rantings and ravings against my fellow man. To tell you the truth I actually 100% agree with Louis. Why are these people just walking all slowing down the sidewalk like they have no place to be. Seriously people if you have no place to be why are you out walking? Please tell me, where are you going that is so minimally important to your life that you walk slower than a slug on hot pavement? And if you are just out for leisurely walk about London for your health all I have to say to you in is: freaking overachievers go back to bed.

❤ Ranting White Girl and The Angry Frenchman


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